Annie: I'm studying shame and the importance of developing shame resilience. I'd like to know your experience as a first generation immigrant (first in a family line to be born in the new country). First of all, would you please tell me briefly about your first generation identity?
Steve: Chinese-Canadian, 28-year-old male. My parents immigrated to
Annie: In my class, our definition of shame includes feeling excluded, inadequate or diminished. Have you ever experienced shame as a first generation immigrant? If so, why and how?
Steve: My Chinese name. I felt awkward with it being used around people with "normal" western names, so I had changed it 23 years ago.
Annie: Are there any stereotypes or labels that contribute to your feeling of shame?
Steve: Racial slurs, such as “chink”, but they are very rare.
Annie: When you experience shame, how do you deal with it?
Steve: I hide it and try to forget about it. It usually works. Sometimes I react with anger.
Annie: Shame resilience theory (Brown, 2006) proposed that we can develop healthy, constructive ways to deal with shame. That include recognizing shame and its triggers, reality-checking of myths and stereotypes, sharing our stories, and experiencing empathy from others. What do you think of these shame resilience factors? Do you think they would be helpful for dealing with the feeling of shame? Do you have any concerns applying these factors?
Steve: Recognizing shame would be a good thing, but one of my concerns would be bringing up topics that are very sensitive that the person wants to keep within. I might be concerned as to how different people react to having these feelings coming back out, or having them shared with others.
Annie: Do you have any questions or suggestions?
Steve: Anonymity would be very crucial in sharing these feelings. If there were a meeting where everyone is sharing their experiences of shame, maybe have each person sit behind a desk where they cannot be seen until they're comfortable to come out in front of everyone. A blog would actually be a good tool for sharing shame experiences and seeking empathy as it would provide that type of anonymity.
Annie: Thank you for your suggestion. My classmates and I will develop a blog as a group project for this class. The goal of this blog is to increase empathy, compassion and shame resilience around the topic of immigration. I'll inform you when our blog is ready. I hope our blog will be of useful for you and the public. Thank you for sharing your experience and your precious time!
